Saturday, December 28, 2013

Watching My Life Flash Before My Eyes

Unlike with The MoonQuest and The Voice of the Muse: Answering the Call to Write, I didn't cry when I held my first printed copy of Acts of Surrender: A Writer's Memoir on Thursday. But I was emotional, even if I wasn't at first sure why. Then, this insightful comment from a wise friend revealed what I had failed to see on my own. "I just realized," he said, "how much of your work hasn't yet made it the tangible or physical plane."

It's true: Before Thursday, only two of my seven books had found their way into paperback and none more recently than five years ago with the publication of The Voice of the Muse. Holding the print edition of Acts of Surrender was powerful evidence for me of a revolutionary shift into the physical from what had previously been strictly etheric in my life. No wonder I was emotional!

The journey to that shift began a few weeks ago when I felt a sudden, urgent and incompressible imperative to get my remaining five ebook-only editions into printalong with an updated version of The MoonQuest. Through that process, work that existed only electronically has started to become manifest in my physical world -- and with mind-spinning speed: At this rate, all my ebooks will boast paperback editions by the end of January.

I'd like to think that the "manifestation exercise" I'm experiencing right now with my books is a staging ground for what's waiting for me in 2014. I'd like to think that it's a sort of dress rehearsal...that with 2014, many of my long-held dreams will finally begin to take physical form.

It is said that just before we die, our lives flash before our eyes. We can also experience some version of that "replay" when we are about to die into a new phase of our lives. Is that what's happening to me on the cusp of a new year, as my current republishing venture forces me to relive many of my lives by rereading all my books?

As a memoir, Acts of Surrender is an obvious blast from my various pasts. But my Q'ntana fantasy trilogy, two writing books and Book of Messages are just as autobiographical, if not quite so obviously. To my surprise, they remain as personally relevant to me as I revisit them today as they were when I originally wrote them. That includes The MoonQuest, which is four months to the day away from celebrating the 20th anniversary of its (conscious) conception.

Of course, I can't know what 2014 will bring. So, for now, even as I ponder the metaphorical meaning of this unexpected publishing enterprise, I continue to surrender to it by rereading all my work and by making minor content tweaks and creating new covers for the new editions.

The first fruits of this flurry of publishing activity showed up on Thursday with the new paperback edition of Acts of Surrender: A Writer's Memoir -- available right now by clicking on this link and coming to Amazon stores worldwide by the end of next week (a great portal into the new year for me!). Writer's Block Unblocked will follow soon after, with all three Q'ntana books and The Book of Messages following soon after that. (All my titles, of course, continue to be available as ebooks in the Kindle, Nook, iBook and Kobo stores.)

Meantime, I can't get this quote from Acts of Surrender out of my head -- and not just because I read and reread it multiple times over the past few weeks...

"My life, as you will discover, has been rocky, on-the-edge and unconventional. It has been scary, disrupted and a distant remove from what most people still cling to as 'security.' 

"It has also been creative, exhilarating, passion-filled, vibrant, exciting, adventurous and enriching. It has pushed me beyond the boundaries of what I believe and what I believe I want, and it has propelled me beyond the frontiers of the conventionally possible. 

"In every moment, it steers me on a course that I could never consciously chart for myself. In every breath, it reminds me that the story knows best -- the story I'm living as much as the story I'm writing."

Yes, the story knows best. All I can do, in this and every moment -- to the best of my imperfect ability -- is to trust that.

• Get  the paperback edition of Acts of Surrender: A Writer's Memoir today at Get the ebook edition in the Kindle, iBook, Nook and Kobo stores. You can also check your local Amazon store late next week for the book, and keep checking it through January for paperback editions of all my books.

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